hating nina. where's saleha?

i'm confused right now. should i be mad all the time? or should i just laughed silently trying to hold myself from bursting in anger?

moving on to a linked issue..

sometimes, when it comes to making decisions, i would always be faced with the same situations over and over again : me massaging my temples, grabbing something with my free hand so that i'll keep it immobile (restraining the urge to throw something or smacking the table top so hard it might give me splinters) and clenching my jaw to avoid me screaming my lungs out. [it terrifies me too u know..knowing what i'm capable of]

the main question is....why do i always hv to make the choices/decisions/ultimatum? for myself and for others?
if i think i can make a great choice, i wont be so frustrated like now
when i asked you to think of some options for me, it is because i'm stuck too! dont pressure me into thinking when u also cant help me with it! or are u just lazy to be using ur brain capacity? does it hurt when u think a lil bit hard?

i am also lost here you know. does any1 even care? and please dont assume that i know what to do everytime. if i'd already knew how to, i wont need friends and family, i can pretty damn live by my own.

and finally, if u happened to accept my choices, and u dont quite agree with how it turns out, try making ur own then next time.

mark my words, i'm fed up being the adult one. let me be a child again.

maybe i'm always mad because i never tell people whats making me mad. and personally, that is because i dont think people will understand what i'm going through.

*i'm crying for help here, God*

(exclamation marks [!] had been removed diligently by the author to avoid sounding like an incredible hulk ready to tear apart your body parts. thanks. have a nice day :D )