its been ages, ey?

I'd only left the internet for few weeks, but it looks as if I'd missed a year's progression. haha.
and, I can see that i'd gained more followers, thank you :)

so..deactivated my Facebook account, only for a while, until i feel comfortable enough to go on it again.Trust me when I say that I don't have a specific reason for doing it. Don't worry, I actually felt liberated. In order to keep up with the rest of the world (since I don't own any TV nor do I go online that often), I tweet. Quite awesome, short and simple.

lets talk about hopes and dreams for year 2011.. my list goes like this:
1. be friendlier and more approachable. *gonna say hi to people and think of things to talk about*
2. less food more moving around *exercise is a strange word*
3. complete the Quran atleast twice per year. *just a sidenote: it's much more worthwhile if you also read the translation after every recitation, don't worry if you're a bit slow to finish it, its not how much you do it, its how sincere you are*
4. spend money more wisely *gonna follow ally's great tips and gonna be a millionaire soon! insyaAllah :D*
5. be diligent, work efficiently and effectively. give the best in assignments and duties.

#6 (extra from what i wrote in twitter): worry not of what people say and just go for my dreams. pendek kata, tebalkan muka, chin up, and be brave. Nina, i feel positive about this :)

lain dari yang lain

got this list from syam who got this from Datin Tiara Jacquelina. a'ah kan syam.. asal xde visiting Mekah n getting married in the list? so dis is my result:

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band(aduh nggak bisa. udah dicoba tapi kok bunyinya nggak masuk ya..)
4. Visited Hawaii and danced on a lava cliff with the roar of the Pacific below
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain(bukit byk.mountain..ermm)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo(tidak. suare ku tidak mantap)

11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea( i think so but i cannot remember when)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child(i want toooo!)
16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill to avoid taking the kids to school(i dont have kids yet, but i always pull a sickie :P)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping(waktu kecik2 :p)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse in a bucket of water 

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run in softball and rounders
32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors(still waiting for the right time padahal da ade kat sini kot)

35. Seen an Amish community(ooo that would be interesting!)
36. Taught yourself a new language(indonesia boleh? i learned it through the art of trading and bargaining)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant(think so.. tak igt sgt)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business(kejap je kot)
58. Taken a martial arts class(taebo counts rite?)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason [xpernah dpt bunga :'( ]
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year's Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox 

89. Saved someone’s life 

90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous outside of Malaysia
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

so i got 39. but yeah. the list is quite unrealisitic i might say. most of the things to do can only be done if u have loads of money. consider the less unfortunate lah.  to people out there who feel like having an adventure, i suggest you go out from ur room, and walk with ur instinct, not with ur head. u'll discover places and things in no time. and u dont really have to hop on a plane to have an adventure. there are lots of interesting stuff going on in places that we always neglect. and remember to follow ur instincts, dont hold urself back!

talam dua muka

or should i say talam banyak muka gila? i just freakingly realised that i have sooo many personality, ie multiple personality disorder. orang lain dok bipolar je kan, aku nih lebih dr dua beb. let me list them.. and here it goes:

1. the girl next door, who doesnt care if her face is all covered in ash, or she just stepped in a puddle.
2. trying to be pretty and dressing up all the time/jangok
3. a pondan/nyah, who yaps about everything, in a manly voice.
4. shopaholic devil(where i also seduces others to go n shop with me)
5. very stingy, even dares to buy the cheapest beras available.
6. materialistic and hoping for a sugar daddy anytime soon to buy all the cool stuffs for her
7. lazy bum who can live in a messy room and secretly stashes away the bad stuffs somewhere..
8. the one who cannot or stand to see anything laying around in places it should not belong to
9. the down-to-earth-do-good-all-the-time person
10. ah why bother. evil evil evil. nyahahah
11. wont-stop-writing-things-on-the-blog
12. do i have to open the blog now?
13. hopeless romantic yg terlebih hopeless
14. hati keras bak batu permata.(cewah)
15. joker and life of the party. (cewah kedua)
16. dull dan pudar and lame
17. do gooder and dare not to cross the lawful line.
18. i dont care what people say let's just get away with it.
19. always delaying things, always late.
20. arrived few minutes early and always checking the time why is the other person so late one.

houston, we have a problem.

renungkan2 dan selamat beramal~

okeh la.so hari ni saya nak jadi macam prof izzi tazkirah hotfm tu, dan berkongsi sesuatu,
yang insyaAllah akan membantu kita untuk menjadi insan dan umat Islam yang lebih sempurna.
(ececehh)


saya nak ajak rakan2 utk sama2 mempraktikkan amalan ini
yang saya buat hampir setiap malam
waktu tengah free gitu,lagi2 sebelum tidur

1.mula2, imbas kembali apa yang da berlaku pada hari tersebut,apa yg kita da lakukan tanpa sedar
2.cuba mencari hikmah disebalik setiap kejadian
3.mengingatkan diri bahawa mungkin apa yg terjadi itu suatu peringatan dari Tuhan
4.cari alternatif untuk mengelak dari tertimpa benda yg sama(yg buruk je la)
5.bersyukur dgn nikmat yg Tuhan kasik(lagi2 bila da dpt berita gembira)
6.mengingatkan diri utk jgn menyesal dgn apa yg berlaku dan jadikan ia sebagai pengajaran
7.tanamkan azam baru untuk perbaiki diri sendiri untuk hari2 yg seterusnya
8.beri semangat/booster kepada diri sendiri..utk hidup yg lebih bermakna dengan keluarga di rumah, dan bakal keluarga kita nanti..wuwuwu

(lepas tu bace la doa ape2 ke.itu sendiri2 pon da tau kan..ehehe)

harap2 rakan2 dpt la try buat
benda ni berkesan utk saya, insyaAllah utk anda juga

saya juga nak tambah sikit2
saya percaya diri saya seorang yg selalu berpandangan positif
yang memandang setiap masalah sebagai cabaran
dan setiap kegembiraan sebagai nikmat
maka, saya agak rimas jika orang selalu mengadu dan mengeluh

being negative all the time will hold you back.
betul tak?
" eh saya xbole buat la"
"adui habis la saya"
"kenapa ni kenapa tu"
"xsuka xsuka xsuka..!"

awak mengeluh, saya pun turut ikut mengeluh
bukan apa, setiap benda insyaAllah ada penyelesaiannya
jangan la cepat berputus asa dan melatah
cuba jadi kreatif sikit dan tangani masalah itu dengan penuh keyakinan
kalau salah boleh cuba lagi
macam main game, reset je bole start over kan
tak susah pun
jangan bataskan diri sendiri xsemena mena
tenangkan diri, dan buat apa yang patut
biarlah orang nak gelakkan kita, orang nak pandang pelik kat kita
hidup ni, adalah suatu proses pembelajaran bukan?

selalu la muhasabah diri..
hati akan lebih tenang
dan kita lebih senang untuk menerima hakikat dan kesusahan
tak ada benda yang susah. yang jadik susah tu bile kite cakap susah.
USAHA,tawakal,dan doa. cukup, insyaAllah.

duha tag sy. nseb pendek je :P

Peraturannya:
1) Copy gambar amal Islam di bawah. Copy satu post ni pun tak ape. Mudah dan menjimatkan masa. harapnye gitu..2) Kemudian pilih 10 orang sahabat anda dan wajibkan mereka melakukan perkara yang sama. Ingat! 10 orang tahu? Lebih2, lagi bagus. Terlebih? Jangan melampau sudah.
okeh, tag ini untuk...jeng3:1. syamsuddin farouk

2.basirah borhanuddin

3.shahira anuar

4.k liyana

5.maliq mangkuk

6. athe

7. aliahkama

8.ermm.sespe la. i think 2 org je kot yg akn forwardkn tag nih. my frens xlyn sgt bnde cmni..kn?
>*********************************************************************************

uhh tu je ke? okeh. sy xtau nk post ape lg da. slmt bercuti dgn produktif kpd teman2 yg bru nk cuti, slmt mengharungi xm utk kwn2 fk yg kne remed, n slmt menyambung sem baru utk kwn2 di ipta msia :)

Perubahan drastik, susah!

saya ingin anda baca sampai habis.janji ye.

mula2.. saya nak mengaku yang saya banyak sangat kesilapan dalam diri sebagai seorang muslimah. kelemahan yang tidak sengaja, yang juga sering diiringi dengan perasaan malu dan kesal. aurat, tingkah laku, batas pergaulan, semua tu masih banyak sangat yang x dpt saya cover lagi. saya sedar kelemahan sendiri ni hanya saya yang dapat nk betulkan. saya juga mmg sgt2 alu2kan apa2 komentar/kritikan membina yang dapat saya gunakan untuk memperbaiki diri ini.


....Dengan ini, saya membuka topik: KENAPA SUSAH SANGAT NAK JAGA HIJAB NI..

1. lingkungan persekitaran
- faktor keluarga dan rakan2 sangat2 besar tanpa disedari. sepanjang hidup kita da membesar bersama mereka. tiap apa yang kita buat, sedikit sebyk dipengaruhi oleh pengalaman kita bersama mereka. bila tiada siapa yang menekankan keperluan menjaga seLENGKAPnya, bagaimana kita hendak sedar akan kewujudannya?

2. exposure
- sejujur2nya, saya hanya mendapat exposure utk mula menjaga Hijab (aurat & tingkah laku) sewaktu zaman matrix di melaka. sebelum itu, saya tidak pernah ada sekelumit pon perasaan atau persoalan dalam diri "adakah ini cara yang betul?". Perkataan Hijab sendiri pon tidak pernah saya dengari, malangnya. Alhamdulillah, pengalaman setahun di matrix, walaupun pendek, telah membuka mata saya. Agak2nya, pintu hati saya juga mula dicurah2 hidayah, Alhamdulillah. dan ingin saya tekankan, tempoh 2 tahun hati terbuka, dibandingkan dengan 17 tahun kejahilan ,adalah sangat2 pendek buat seseorang yang mencuba sedaya upaya untuk berubah.

3. sokongan
- sebenarnya, saya sangat2 sedih dan down, bila seseorang yang kita dah rapat, susah untuk menerima sesuatu perubahan baru pada diri kita. tak kisah jika perubahan itu sesuatu yang buruk dan xdapat diterima orang, tapi bukan kan sebenarnya? terasa diejek setiap kali cuba memakai stokin aurat dan berhujah sedikit. saya, yang lemah ni, dipanggil ustazah..walaupun saya suka, kerana itu salah satu impian baru saya, tapi entah lah, jika kata itu disertai dengan Alhamdulillah dan rasa insaf, bukannya senyum sinis atau kata2 perli, saya rasa mungkin akan lebih mudah untuk saya berubah menjadi muslimah sejati. saya sehingga teringin nak pakai jubah hitam + purdah, tapi rasa2nya anda mesti terkejut kan dan ada sedikit xselesa?

4. usaha saya
- mungkin ramai yang x sedar, saya dah banyak sangat berubah semenjak sekolah lagi. tiada lagi lengan pendek, tiada lagi bersalaman dengan lelaki, selalu senyapkan diri untuk mengelakkan berkata2 buruk, selalu muhasabah diri, dan cuba menjaga kelakuan saya. Semenjak kemasukan saya sebagai ahli dalam biro agama IMAN, saya dah banyak sangat usaha demi menjaga nama baik biro tersebut. Sehinggakan saya memilih untuk memakai baju kurung sekerap mungkin, tudung dilabuhkan, membeli kain baru untuk dibuat baju labuh, membeli baju tshirt labuh, tidak lagi memakai baju2 ketat walaupun berlengan panjang, mengaji, mengikuti program2 agama, menjauhkan pancaindera dari maksiat..dan banyak lagi..


Sesuatu seperti ini mustahil untuk saya go cold turkey ataupun tukar semua dalam saat tu juga. MUSTAHIL! Dalam usaha saya juga, pasti timbul perangai2 lama yang sudah terbiasa, yang juga cepat2 saya kesalkan dan cuba berhenti. So, saya harap sangat2 agar mendapat sokongan yang WAJAR dari anda semua, dan jika ada kritikan atau apa khas buat saya, sila katakannya direct kepada saya sahaja, dan bukan secara indirect dengan melibatkan grup yang lebih besar. Hati saya xpernah tenang mengenangkan setiap kesalahan saya, tau?

Saya juga meminta maaf kepada sesiapa yang telah terasa dengan cara saya. Sekarang saya faham perasaan anda. Semua manusia itu banyak kelemahannya, dan kita kena bersama memperbaikinya. Allah telah berfirman di dalam Al-Quran: “….Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum itu sehingga mereka sendiri mengubah nasib mereka….” (Ar-Ra’du:11).

p.s: menyesal plak buat inai kat tangan. ada cara nak hilangkan secepat mungkin x? risau ikhwan pandang.. :(


p.s again: harap2 nampak the writings..enjoy..

busy as a bee~

new list. not another secret lovers list, thank God.

Nina's to-do list..
1. Plan the weekend, and plan it good.. al is coming over! (21st) yeayyy!
2. Finish up the expense report for minggu sunnah (anyone who took account before, help me please!)
3. Make peace with the Spirit of Roti Jala in order to master the skills needed to make perfect lacey roti jala
4. Watch futsal if possible! favourite teams are playing this sunday (22nd) !
5. Go for karaoke sessions!
6. Watch The Real Pocong, and Terowongan Rumah Sakit. supposedly can scare you shitless.
7. Visit the tailor. I really2 need a new wardrobe.
8. Roti Jala issue again. Find a frying pan. Assemble a team of roti jala'ers. And sell it off on Tuesday.
9. Try diligently to start studying and complete all my notes by 30th of march. (31st- midtest exam starts)
10. Bag and shoe --> laundry!
11. Buy some socks. And a pair of sport shoes,if i may.
12. Concentrate in class, and do all my assignments early, and revise revise revise! I need the loan/scholarship!
13. Ask & discuss more about Muslimah Nite. How can i be a good vice director of the event if i don't know well about the thing, from A to Z? (buek malu yo..bak kate org nogori)

really hope i'll be able to check off all the things in the list.. ameen..

p.s: something happened that day, and i still can't stop smiling till now. oh..i need to move on..even if my heart wishes for more moments like that.. :(

before i end my post, here's something for the girls back home:

Jamal Abdillah & Siti Sarah (M Nasir)

Sandarkan Pada Kenangan

( JA: )
Kenangan manis kau dan aku
Takkan terhapus
Duri ranjau dalam bercinta
Lumrah dunia

( JA: )
Sayang menyayang
Cinta dikenang
Perasaan menjadi rindu

( 1 )
( SS: )
Ohhhh...
Lihatlah diriku yang kehilangan
Tanpa kasihmu sayang
Siapalah aku

( 2 )
( JA & SS: )
Sayang menyayang
Saling percaya
( JA: )
Punca kasih berpanjangan
( JA: / SS: )
Ohhh.... oh...

( 3 )
( JA: )
Mengapa kita harus bersengketa
( SS: )
Kerana fitnah dan salah sangka
( JA: )
Apa yang telah terjadi pada kenangan
( SS: )
Sememangnya aku tak pernah melupakan
( JA: )
Mengapa masih ada perasaan benci
( SS: )
Kerana cinta dan percaya luput dalam perasaan

( JA & SS: )
Marilah kasih
Kita saling sayang menyayang
Kalaulah ada benci
Kita sandarkan pada kenangan

( ulang 1, 2 & 3 )

( JA: )
Apa yang harus kita lakukan
( SS: )
Kita sandarkan pada kenangan
( JA: )
Mengapa masih ada perasaan benci
( SS: )
Kerana cinta dan percaya luput dalam perasaan

yeah.sy mmg romantik kan? ghindu la zaman skolah.. :'(

unexpected

why is it unexpected?
it is because, for the first time in my life,
i think i like this chapter.

1.moving on letting go
i even had a video of him. unexpectedly today, i deleted it
and it was on impulse.
yes maybe i've thought about it the day before
and i watched the thing more than once
but really, i didnt remember myself thinking about it
i was too preoccupied with my studies :) wow!

2. i love studying, at long last!
unexpectedly, i'm starting to love dentistry
before, i felt i'm forced into it
at one glance of these names: microbiology, parasitology, pathology, dental material..
my knees went weak. i dont know if i could handle it at all.
yet now i realized, these subjects are actually fun!
wow!

3. i learn to prioritise
after a few days of delaying and being a lazybum,
i snapped myself into realizing that i need to do something with my life right this moment
coz time won't wait..
and now i'm planning my schedules
and doing my assignments earlier than i'd normally would
again unexpectedly, i force myself to "lupekan" the intentions to futsal, and instead i choose to do my assignments. wow!

nina xmain2 da. nina serius nih. dan saye akan belajar utk dapatkan scholar mara, dan saye akan kawen dgn millionaire. (eh?)

4. still..
i need to focus on searching for a new goal! balik2 i'll be saying that i wanna be married to a pious man. oh God, is that all to it? i'm not created exclusively to end up marrying someone.
i need to achieve something that could make me stand out and stand proud. ngee. i want people to acknowledge me as Dr. Nina.. not Polan's wife.titik.

sekian, salam.

anda bakal pening kepala

warning: bce post ini dgn hati yg tenang. dan jgn harapkan perfection dari sang author.

baca dulu : bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

once again, i'm in bandung, ready to start a new sem, afresh!

my 3 weeks of holiday was nevertheless filled with adventures and fun..

kejadians:
1. went to kl all by myself. wahh. public transportation lagi nyah!
-well, i've nvr been on a solo ride in a public transportation. i've nvr been allowed to. so, all this time, its either i'm being chauffered by my sister(haha) or with lots of friend and also by car. pampered? no... i wouldnt say that. its just that my parents were thinking of my safety and not wanting me to be too independent. (fikir positif abes). so here goes:

rumah --> smpi2 stesen nk beli tix, tp xjmpe counter and sorg abg ni pndg2, so patah balik thn malu and voila, the counter is there. fuhh. tkut nmpk rookie abes.(haha) --> subang jaya komuter --> kl sentral -->pusing2 satu kl sentral --> call al sebab da sesat and malu nk tny guard --> walked towards the OTHER exit of kl sentral with aliah on the phone --> monorel brickfields --> again memalukan diri sendiri by looking at the end of the rail if the car is coming. why? the end i was looking at was a dead one! kantoi gle first time --> monorel chowkit --> turun naik station looking for my friend, miza and her friend, izati --> kedai buku kamal --> monorel chowkit(waited for my other friend, izzati) --> taxi to pwtc --> dropped our books off --> secret recipe the mall --> semi, miza's friend came over --> miza and her friends gone off to upm --> shopping --> lrt kt the mall --> lrt bandaraya --> turun tangga dgn konfiden.. last2 gelakkn diri sndri and asked akak seblh mane stesen komuter. " nek jmbtn tu je dik.." oh malunye --> komuter bank negara --> komuter subg jaya --> kereta kakak sy--> rumah. gle celaru. haha. nk beli buku pnye pasal...

2. went out for batch's birthday + karaoke session!
- best gileeeee fullstop. nonstop laughing. me n my failed attempt on doing my dangdut moves. them with their dance along for elite-tamparan wanita. got to meet all my friends. ended up going to shah alam to kidnap mimi after class. stopped at the curb where mahsa students were passing through to get to their bus. cuci mate session. cramped 7 ppl in a gen2.(nx time i'll drive a bus. sonang.xyh himpit2). took pictures at mimi's apartment punye playground. lwk juga. buat lagi ye!

3. sushi zanmai pyramid!
- akhirnye, i got my dose of sushi and sashimi. kak hid, abg ali, abg geff, and kakak was there. we ordered like we havent ate for a week. the waiter was cute jugak la sbb blur. baru keje kot.haha. makan smpi kenyang gle and almost barfed looking at the others still eating. and then, i went shopping with my patient sis. haha.

4. lesen p no more. cdl suda!
- my bro dropped me off at jpj padang jawa. kne pickup line by apek manetah. nseb ak pekak xdgr pape. bertny di kaunter pertanyaan sbb tkut sesat lg. waited for 5 minutes je! sgt efficient jpj pdg jawa.kudos lah..then followed my bro to his fac and pusing2 uitm belek2 awek. apejadahhh..

5. badminton bersama azzy, jaja, maliq
- mls nk men sbb hand-eye coordination mmg teruk. so dipelawa oleh jaja utk ambil gmbr dgn camera die. lyn je la. caught sum aksi2 lucu mereka. penat gelak je kot tgk diorg men. azzy blur xthn! brp kali tah the shuttlecock jatuh je dpn mate die xbersambut. hahaha. jaja plak tergamam sbntr sbb azzy n maliq cm men 2 org je. haha..sian2. den gi canai minum2. akmal, kwn jaja dr segi join ktorg. agk mereng sket. but not in the mood sgt utk berckp mlm itu. oh akhirnye dpt kasik wallet maliq.. and he liked it reli2 much, lega gle. haha.

ermm..i'm pretty sure there's more, but i cant remember any. pdn muke lmbt update. gmbr pon mls post sbb sgt2 "moist".

so baru blk bandung semlm. sem baru xde kls on mondays, so gi jatos beli brg and watched a movie. comelll gle tp xphm sgt sbb ckp jawa or sum indonesian dialect. smpi2 di bilik, senior msged tny if i nak masuk biro agama.. ermm.. gile xlyk kot. tp i told her to let me think abt it first.

p.s: teknik penceritaan dlm post ini bukan berdasarkan kronologi. celaru post nih. sian. dan bahasa kejap eng kejap bm. masyaAllah. maaf setulus hati