i feel...

weird..
awesome..
appreciated..
glad..
grateful..
relieved..

i feel ok.

because i'm not actually all excited and ecstatic about it, but still....

this is what happened..

a senior msged me one day and asked if i wanted to be a part of a biro agama for my batch. i say why not, and from that day, even with the awkwardness of being the only one who couldnt read mathurat fluently, or knowing the right terms like jazzakallah and akhwat and ikhwan, i feel as if i've made the right choice.

i love these people. they accepted me really2 well, and they didnt exclude me out in anything. (its a normal thing here since the meds students and dentistry students dont really communicate well).

just one month in this society, they've trusted me so much. they believed in me. and now, i'm going to prove them and amaze them. this is what i want. to be noticed, not to be left aside, doing my own thing. people are starting to listen to my voice. thank you. :)

and i've settled my problem with my roomate. its such a silly thing in the first place. i go on and on about her being all that, when all this time, i'm doing the same thing to her. and i dont even care to know who started it, grudges are for losers. i'm really thankful to fitri for tolerating with me so well.. things might not be the same after the fight, but still, i'm glad u r my roomate and noone else.

and now i know, we dont have to change. we are who we are. people just need to accept it. and i need to accept it too.

and also, i need to stop thinking too much, and just loosen up. i'm too tense all this while..and i didnt even notice it..

one step at a time, ye nina?